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98It would be pretty foolish to put up any books up against Blackest Night this week, as no doubt it outsold every book. This is DC’s giant new event, and even gave away little plastic rings with the purchase of their comic. Hell, I’ll get to my review later, but I love when I can get free stuff. I want more free stuff with the purchase of comics. A fairly light week for me, topping up at three total books.

Blackest Night #1
Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter #2
Incognito #5

Incognito #5
Lots of questions answered today, as we get an origin of the Overkill Brothers, and learn about Ava Destruction and the origins of the meta-people of the Incognito universe. Though I love the team behind the book, and it is overall very solid, Incognito is just not as engaging as Criminal. Most likely because of the fact the because there is a whole universe to explain, Brubaker has to take the time to do so. Now, I loved learning about the world that I’m reading, but it lacks the instant gratification of a crime noir taking place in our world. So, on a whole, this issue was one of my favorite of the series, but, the book, on a whole, has been lacking in excitement.

Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter #2
Beta Ray Bill is one of my favorite characters in the Marvel universe. He hasn’t had a lot of page-time, except for some guest appearances throughout the history of Thor, a FANTASTIC mini series by Oeming, and fairly brief appearances in Omega Flight, so I was excited to see more attention coming his way. The plot of the book isn’t the most easily accomplished feat in a three issue mini series (having one single character defeat the mighty Galactus…), but the art overall is very good, so at least it isn’t something horrible to look at. The book has seriously been lacking the amazing space fight scenes, history, and writing that Stormbreaker brought us. But, as a big Beta Ray Bill fan, the twist at the end of this issue was really interesting to see, and I look forward to the pending character development, I’m just sad to know that it will all be done with at the end of the next issue.

Blackest Night #1
Greg and I haven’t been quiet about our dislike of the Green Lantern buildup to Blackest Night, and I don’t think that trend is going to end any time soon. I really wanted this issue to be good, even in the slightest way, in order to make up for the last….4-5 bad issues of Green Lantern, but that wish just doesn’t come  true. Blackest Night is bad. Very bad.

It starts off with some monologue that sounds like a 15 years old ramblings on death “No one escapes death….Not even YOU…My father told me everyone dies…so I killed him!” This, of course, coming a week after we read the fucking ridiculously horrible origin story of Black Hand. And the not so subtle reminder that the Black Lantern battery exists in Space Sector 666. I shiver at the symbolism hinted behind that. We also see Black Hand licking the fully bare skull of Bruce Wayne. Wayne’s corpse had enough time to fully decay, but apparently the Flash didn’t have enough time to learn about who had died in the world while he was away, even though they died/were resurrected at roughly the same time.  [G: I'd like to point out that Firestorm exploded and there was no body for the Black Lantern to reanimate.  Something I would like to see is Deadman possessing his Black Lanternified corpse and kicking all sorts of ass.]

The next few pages aren’t that bad, actually. I mean, it is a a pretty simple introduction to a huge event, and pretty similar to the beginning of Sinestro Corps War, reminding us of Hal’s intimate connection to Coast City. Though the pages are are a little too jingoistic for me, and just mind-numbingly positive. [G: As someone said, "Coast City is Hal's dead girlfriend."]

Hey! Superboy wears glasses to protect his identity too! These pages are a painfully obvious setup as to who will come back as a zombie. We have a scene where Mera and Tempest or Aqualad or whomever arguing whether or not to bury Aquaman under water in a “magnificent tomb surrounded by coral fields.” I can’t believe I just typed that shit. [G: I didn't realize Superboy was even back in the present DCU.  Also: Are all Atlanteans complete dicks?  Namor and his people aren't much better than Aquaman's.]

Then it turns out the Justice League keeps villains dead bodies in lock-up, which is just a hilariously convenient plot point by Johns. He wastes pages on heart-wrenching nostalgia, only to set up a literal Grave Pissing on the memory and love of established DC characters. I mean, graves are both literally desecrated in the pages of the book, but also in the minds and hearts of the readers.

Hawkman and Hawkgirl have a spousal argument about love and destiny or some shit. These characters haven’t been relevant or even used in years, so why the fuck are we spending 3 or 4 pages on that? Their infinite recursion of a reenactment of the Romeo and Juliet plot is a pretty unrepeatable thing to have to bother explaining out for such a drag-as period of time. Then she mentions Jean Loring made the Atom “feel small” and guess what the picture is that we see. The Atom, being small. FUCKIN’ GENIUS WRITING, THERE. So anyway, the Hawks are dead now…even though they admit a few pages earlier that they have been constantly resurrected throughout the ages…So, I’m not sure why their death holds any significance at all to the Black Lanterns.

Later we get to see the Oans. For me, the Oans are probably the single most frustratingly unnecessary character in all of the DC universe, who have just been over looking common sense and well thought out decisions for over a year. Oh, and it turns out that the Green Lanterns, similar to the Justice League, keep all the bodies of the dead members of their corps. Does NO one believe in cremation? Why is everyone given a traditional Western burial/preservation of body?

What else can I complain about….Well, the Black Lanterns are said to feed on those who are full of emotions, and gain power by eating their hearts. YUP – EMOTIONS ARE APPARENTLY STORED IN YOUR HEART. Come on, I’m really sick of the cliche metaphor of the connection to the heart and your emotions. THERE IS NONE. Why aren’t they just eating people’s brains, like real zombies, since it is actually in control of your emotions?

We are then greeted with the single most exploitative image in any comic book that I’ve ever seen. Ralph and Sue back as murderous, blood thirsty zombie abominations. Probably, without a doubt, the most innocent couple in all of DC, they are so utterly deformed and disgraced that it is almost sickening. Is this the point of the series, though? That there isn’t a suddenly a very real sense of life and death in comics? The resurrections are not always positive events? Seems like a pretty baseless lesson to learn, and one without any real literary depth behind it.

I’m probably going to continue reading this, just to see how horrible the book gets. And I have a very reasonable fear that there won’t be a deeper, more significant metaphorical meaning or social significance behind this series at all. There certainly doesn’t seem to be. Sure, Johns is fracturing the binary, but in a painfully obvious sort of way, with the same painfully cut and dry separation between opposing forces, ergo, rendering the process moot.

I LOVED Sinestro Corps War, and have been going through the painful build up ever since the end of that series two years ago. The buildup has been mediocre at best, and this series is looking like it is going to be frustratingly bad.